How Not To Write A Fanfiction: An Epic Tale
by Absolute Honesty
Summary: Basically a story about the gang when they meet Mary-Sue, the eighth descendant. She joins the gang, because reasons. Will all the boys fall in love with her? Will there be a plot? OCxeveryone. Songfic! I suck at summaries, it is better than it sounds. This is my first story, please be nice. Plz R&R! If I get 3 people asking me to write more I will write more.
1. Teh intro

_**Soooo, I just had to write this story because it came to me in a dream, it's just such a good idea. I know its bad but if you say if it is bad I will report you because flamers are the antichrist.**_

_**I'd really like to thank my Beta for helping me with this story. You are so amazing you make the sun rise every day and I couldn't live without you. **_

_**Warnings: may not contain plot. **_

_**Spoilers: doesn't contain plot. **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Class of the Titans but I do own Mary-Sue so please don't use her without permission because she's an amazing character. **_

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Theresa was really sad. Sad because Jay hadn't noticed the three millimetres of hair that had been snipped off her flowing locks in her latest haircut.

"Why doesn't he like me?" She moaned existentially, crying alone in her bedroom. "Life is unfair!"

Just then, Neil wandered past. He saw that she was crying and exclaimed that they had to go to the mall, because shopping was surely the only thing that could cheer her up. Theresa agreed and they went off to the mall together.

As they walked towards the mall, they saw Jay… and a mysterious girl whom neither of them had seen before. She was ridiculously pretty, with long blonde hair and honey-toned highlights and gorgeously red lips and deep blue eyes, the colour of the ocean/sky/a really deep shade of blue. She looked a little bit like Taylor Swift/Angelina Jolie/Jennifer Lawrence/the author. She was wearing a short pink dress with a sweetheart neckline and a gold bust that showed off her really tanned skin and HUGE… personality.

Jay looked smitten. Theresa cried some more and ran back to the dorm. Neil walked towards Jay and the mysteriously hot girl, because he found her rather attractive. So attractive that he stopped thinking about himself.

"Hi Jay!" He winked at the girl. "Hi!"

The girl blushed, smiling. "Hi," she replied. Her voice was like melted chocolate with everything cute like kittens and unicorns.

"This is Mary-Sue," Jay explained, unable to take his eyes off the girl. "She's just moved to New Olympia. Her mother is an alcoholic and her father abandoned her when she was just a month old. She's a world class gymnast/model/equestrian/actress/singer/model and she's our age. Also she is single." Both boys sighed while Mary-Sue giggled. Her giggle was breathtaking, like a subliminal mountain.

"It's nice to meet you!" She said in her melted-chocolate-and-kittens-and-unicorns voice. "I'm just so happy to get away from my deeply tragic past!"

Neil and Jay accompanied her for the rest of the afternoon.

Meanwhile, Theresa cried alone in her room again. She did this for the entire afternoon. Once her tear-ducts had been depleted, she turned on her radio. A song came on, a corny pop-song that described exactly how she felt. It was by Taylor Swift/The Beetles/One Direction/Justin Bieber/Miley Cyrus, and Theresa sang it to herself. Funnily enough, it didn't make her feel any better.

She left her room and wandered down the hall. She saw that Archie was in his room, because it was his bedroom and it wasn't abnormal for him to be in it. He was writing poetry because it's very canon.

"What are you writing, Archie?" because she wanted to be polite, even though they weren't all that close as friends.

"Poetry," he explained seriously, because he was a VERY open person. "Do you want me to read it aloud?"

Without waiting for a response, he launched into an epic poem. It went something like this;

"_I love Atlanta._

_I love her more than Santa._

_I love her more than Fanta._

_Gosh this poem is good for useless banter._

_If you don't like this poem you're a hater._

_Yes that was an eye-rhyme, it's poetic _

_And it's the only technique I know, it's pathetic._

_So yeah I wish Atlanta would go out with me._

_It would make me really happy."_

The poem brought a tear to Theresa's much abused tear-ducts. She cried happy tears, exclaiming how good the poem was. Archie cried too, because he was overcome by all of his feelings for Atlanta. He then looked very seriously at Theresa, his tears suddenly forgotten.

"Atlanta and I have been together for three days," he said very solemnly. "And I know we're perpetually fifteen/sixteen but I want to propose to her."

Theresa gasped.

The author gasped.

The gang gasped.

Mary-Sue gasped, the sound of air floating across a beautiful canyon filled with cute things like kittens and unicorns.

The gods gasped.

The whole world gasped.

"Really?!" Theresa exclaimed, the rhetorical question bringing more tears to her emerald eyes. "That's so romantic Archie! When are you going to ask her?"

"Well, I don't have any source of income, but I have booked a restaurant/cruise ship/plane/holiday in an exotic location. I will ask her then!"

Just then, there was a noise downstairs. The two wandered down, wondering who could it be, despite the fact that only eight people ever came to the dorm. As they stepped down the stairs, they saw who was in the living room. It was… Mary-Sue!

"Hi," she said, smiling a glorious smile that was even brighter than Neil's. Archie nearly fainted in pure amazement. Theresa nearly cried again.

Jay and Neil walked through the door too. Not actually through the door, but through the open doorway. "We wanted to show her where we live," Jay said dreamily, his eyes glued to Mary-Sue. "And we have something to tell you, when the others arrive home."

In a matter of seconds, Atlanta, Herry and Odie arrived at the dorm extremely conveniently. Jay beamed at all of them and launched into a long exposition.

"Mary-Sue is a descendant of Marius-Sues, an obscure figure in Greek Mythology that has likely been made up by the author. We've been to the school and Hera says that she must join the team because there is a new prophecy/the Oracle got it wrong/she has nowhere else to live/reasons. There is also a really handy spare bedroom, because every house in this city has eight bedrooms. She will fit in with the gang because she has superpowers. Is everyone cool with this? Excellent."

Theresa cried, and Atlanta joined in. All the boys just sighed.

Mary-Sue giggled, a breathy sound that caused the majority of the gang to pass out due to pure amazement at the gorgeous sound.

"I'm so happy to be here!" She said in her sing-song voice. "It'll be so good to escape my terribly tragic past!"

Theresa cried again.

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_**So, I know it wasn't really good but the idea came to me in a dream and I just had to write it down. And because I wrote it down, I had to publish it!**_

_**Please tell me your honest thoughts. No flames! **_


	2. Corny pun about something in chapter

**_So sorry for the delay in updating. My computer was having problems and my math teacher is evil and I'm suffering writer's block._**

**_For everyone saying that Mary-Sue is a Mary Sue, it's just her name okay? It's a coincidence. She's not a Mary Sue she just has a really tragic past and is burdened with being the most beautiful girl to have ever lived._**

**_Jay: so what's going to happen in this chapter?  
_****_Me: hehehehe you'll have to read it to find out!  
_****_Archie: why are we in your author's note?  
_****_Me: because I'm the author. That's why.  
_****_Odie: I don't see the point of this._**

**_So anyway thank you for the reviews. If you flamed then you probably did the right thing according to the atrocities commenced but you're still a bad person. If you didn't say something like "oh emm gee I luved dis plz rite moarrrr ur da best rita in da wurlldddd"… you're also a bad person._**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own Class of the Titans but if I did [Character A] would be with [Character B] and there would be a third series and here's a whole list of things that would happen._**

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_Previously on How Not To Write A Fanfiction…_

_Theresa cried a lot._

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(Jay POV)

Everyone seemed really happy when I said that Mary-Sue was moving in. Except the girls. Dunno why. I don't understand them even though we've been living together since 2006.

Mary-Sue is really hot and intelligent. I think I'm in love. I sighed.

"I'll show you to your room." I said. She smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat. Her smile was like a really bad metaphor about things that are beautiful.

I led her up the stairs. "Your bedroom is next to mine," I explained. "And it's also the biggest in the dorm. And it's already furnished."

"That's really convenient!" She exclaimed. Her voice made me sigh/fall in love/cry. "Thank you, Jay!"

(Neil POV)

I stared angrily at the stairs as Jay led Mary-Sue to her room. Normally I'm not one for noticing girls but Mary-Sue is the hottest girl I've ever seen. And I _model_.

"Theresa you okay?" asked Herry. Theresa was crying. But she was also in a trance. She must have been having a vision! She opened her eyes, gasping for breath.

"I had a vision!" She announced, stating the obvious.

Everyone gasped.

(No POV)

The team looked at each other, unsure how to proceed with the vision now that there was no particular character narrating the story.

(Neil POV)

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as I continued to explain things from my point of view.

Jay walked back down the stairs at that moment. "Mary-Sue said she wanted to rest. Her tragic past makes her lethargic." He turned to Theresa. "Did you say you had a vision? What was it about?"

Theresa whimpered. "I saw Mary-Sue! She was laughing really evilly."

We gasped.

"You know what this means?" Odie said, very pale all of a sudden.

We shook our heads.

"I think this is foreshadowing," he explained very seriously. "The worst example I've ever seen."

Jay grimaced. "I know Theresa is always right with her visions, but Mary-Sue is too hot to be evil. So we're going to ignore the vision, okay?"

Theresa tried to interject, but Jay continued. "She is a member of the team, okay? She has a tragic past so you can't be mean to her. This goes for anyone reading the story, okay?"

We took a moment to stare up at everyone reading this and shook our fists at them. How dare they say anything bad about Mary-Sue!

Just then, Mary-Sue wandered down the stairs. She had changed her clothes. She now wore a pair of blue denim short shorts, black knee high boots and a pink spaghetti-strap top that showed off her huge… personality. She smiled at us. Theresa cried again.

"Should we go to training?" she asked sweetly, batting her eyelids as inconspicuously as possible. "I know it's my first day but I have a really hard work ethic and I'm always very punctual. And this is what I normally wear in high-contact sports so don't judge me."

(No POV)

The gang then went to the high school. They walked into the janitor's closet, which went unnoticed by all the teenagers around them. Speaking of, why weren't they in school? They had no time to ponder this deeply troubling irrelevant question, as they were somehow late for Ares' class. After reaching the training ground, Ares shouted at them for half an hour, and then divided them into pairs.

"I want you to watch Mary-Sue fight Herry," he said sternly.

They watched as Mary-Sue completed three cartwheels and five back flips before pinning a gob-smacked Herry to the ground. They all cheered in admiration.

"Where did you learn to do that?" Odie asked in awe.

"I was the national Taekwando champion when I was two years old," she explained, shrugging like it was no big deal. "I also have a black belt in Judo, Kung-Fu, Hapkido and just about every other martial art form in the world." She smiled at them. Ares dropped his sword, blushing.

"Class dismissed!" he announced, after a mere five seconds of class.

The gang started to leave, but then Theresa remembered her vision. "I'm going to see Persephone," she said. "I'll see you back at the dorm."

The gang barely noticed her. They were too enthralled in Mary-Sue's beauty/intelligence/skills/…personality/smile to notice. Theresa cried, and ran off towards Persephone's solarium.

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**I know it's short but I have writer's block.**

**Jay: that's no excuse.  
****Me: but…  
****Archie: are we still doing this?  
****Odie: why can't we talk in prose?  
****Me: ummm…  
****Jay: this is such pointless banter.**

**Please review because I won't update if you don't review. But I will. Or will I?**


	3. Side plots! Side plots everywhere!

**_Oh em gee, thank you for all the reviews. My story is the best story in the entire world so it doesn't matter what your opinions are anyway. But they do, really, because we all know Fanfiction is a review competition. Just saying. _**

**_HoneyGoddess; you're doing it wrong. This is a work of parody. I don't have "writer's block"; it doesn't exist. I AM MOCKING ALL OF YOU, YOU INCLUDED. These chapters take all of three minutes to put together. There is no thought process involved. At all. _**

**_In response to a wonderful message from a person that does not want to be named that I received earlier in the week; if you think any part of this story resembles any part of your stories, that's because I AM MOCKING YOU. THIS IS A PARODY. No, it's not meant to be offensive. No, it's not meant to be taken seriously. But you sure as hell should be re-evaluating your writing if you see elements of your stories in this._**

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Mary-Sue and the gang arrived back at the dorm. They were chatting… well, Mary-Sue was talking about her deeply tragic past, and the others were hanging off her every word. If Theresa had been with them, she would have cried.

"We need to get you a weapon!" Jay suddenly exclaimed.

Mary-Sue laughed, her laugh pearly and the sound of bells chiming. "I already have a weapon."

From out of her short shorts' pocket, she pulled two katanas. "These have been in my family for generations. Also I have superpowers."

"Wow!" Herry's eyes lit up. "Your family sounds really cool. Despite having a really tragic past, you sound like you have had the perfect life!"

She shook her head sadly, making her long, flaxen honey-coloured blonde hair cascade around her shoulders. "Oh, no. It has not been perfect. I am burdened with being so powerful, it's a curse. I'm too perfect. Even my name says it all. My full name is actually Mary-Sue Serenity Jasmine Sakura Snapdragon."

"That's a mouthful!" Archie exclaimed. "We don't even have last names in this series!"

Mary-Sue shrugged at this. "I'm sure there's authors out there who attempt to give you horrible last names, right?"

The gang nodded fervently, shuddering as they remembered the epidemic of last-naming they'd suffered through the years.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Atlanta asked suddenly. It seemed like a logical question – Mary-Sue must surely have a boyfriend, being the most attractive female to enter the world since Pandora.

Mary-Sue cast a very obvious side-glance at Jay. "No… I don't have a boyfriend."

Everyone gasped. All the boys looked rather excited by this prospect. Atlanta wondered if she should cry, but then decided she would let Theresa do that for her when she arrived back home. Speaking of, where was Theresa?...

* * *

Theresa cried on Persephone's shoulder, blabbering incoherently about Mary-Sue's perfection to her mentor. Persephone, for her pat, awkwardly patted the girl's shoulder, saying "there, there."

When Theresa explained her vision, Persephone leapt to her feet, a worried expression on her face. "Of course!" she cried. "She must be working with Cronus! It's the only explanation of a very obvious fact!" She turned to Theresa, grabbing her by the forearms and shaking her. "You must warn the others!"

Theresa nodded, wiping away tears. "Will you tell Hera while I tell the gang?"

Persephone laughed. "Of course not. That's up to you."

"But why-"

The goddess suddenly turned blue in anger. "BECAUSE REASONS, YOU SILLY GIRL!"

Theresa cried again, and then ran from the room. She had to warn the gang!

* * *

"… and then after that, I graduated from Cambridge at the mere age of seven, and published three novels, and then climbed Everest." Mary-Sue explained, her very tragic past disappearing momentarily as she explained her very complicated and unrealistic back story filled with unrealistic accomplishments.

"That's incredible!" Jay exclaimed. They all nodded in agreement.

Mary-Sue had changed her clothes since the previous scene. She now wore a frilly pink dress with a floral pattern and a pair of gold gladiator sandals that sparkled and glittered did other synonyms too. Her long blonde hair with honey-tone highlights was flowing gently in the breeze, despite the fact that they were indoors and there was windless weather. Around her neck she wore a very expensive looking gold heart pendant with shimmering red rubies and shining diamonds inlaid. The other characters had clothes on, too, but they did not get the same purple-prose treatment as Mary-Sue. Besides, they never changed their clothes anyway. It was an occupational hazard with being in a cartoon show.

Just then, they heard a noise at the door. Mary-Sue leapt up, katanas in hand, and raced to the door. "Stay here!" she warned, adopting a Kung-Fu like stance. "It's probably someone dangerous, like Cronus, despite the fact that I've never met him and he can't reach us here according to the canon."

Odie wanted to mention the Cronus-on-the-rooftop incident from series one, but decided against it. They hid behind the couch, peeping over it to watch Mary-Sue leap at the figure walking through the door, her katanas blazing.

The gang watched in awe as she single-handedly decapitated… Theresa.

"Oh, sorry about that," Mary-Sue murmured, putting her impossibly-still-shiny katanas back in her pocket.

Jay shrugged. "It's fine, Mary-Sue. I never liked her anyway. Who wants ice-cream?"

They stepped over the headless body on their way out the door and headed for the ice-cream parlour.

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**_Killing off a character makes you a good writer, right? It makes writers like you, right? It makes you seem really invested in the canon, right?_**

**_I don't want to spoil the next chapter, but… MARY-SUE ISN'T WHAT SHE SEEMS!1111111111111_**

**_Plz leaf mi a rifew cuz it maks mi hapi. _**


	4. Thank you Captain Obvious

**Peeve and Illusional… thanks for realising the true intent of this story. Maybe everyone else will catch on? I won't hold my breath. **

**Anon asked what I consider to be a decent story. I'd say 'Pulse' by Jennieman, 'Streets' by Little Miss Illusional and 'War Photography' by xanthophiliac. Heard of Sturgeon's Law? Well, they are the 10%.**

**Oh em gee thnx u 4 all da rifews. If u dont rifew dis chptr u r bad n i will criii.**

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When the gang returned from their ice-cream trip, they found Athena patching up Theresa, who was crying.

"Didn't you die in the previous chapter?" Jay muttered.

Theresa shook her head, which wobbled a little. "I got better."

Odie cocked his head. "Uh… biologically, that doesn't make much sense…"

"OF COURSE IT DOESN'T!" Theresa shrieked. "THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"

Mary-Sue smiled innocently. "Sorry for killing you, Theresa." She held out a perfectly manicured hand. "Can we put this behind us and be friends?"

Theresa stared at the hand suspiciously. Grudgingly, she shook Mary-Sue's hand, retracting her hand after just seconds. She excused herself, running up to her room to cry.

"Poor Theresa," Mary-Sue exclaimed, her impossibly deep blue eyes deep with concern for Theresa. Though she wasn't best of friends with the girl, she was an extremely compassionate person and naturally was concerned for everyone. She looked up at Jay lovingly. "I don't think we should tell her about us being together. It would only break her heart."

Jay nodded. "You're so compassionate," he told her, kissing her on the cheek. "I love you."

Mary-Sue giggled. "I love you more!"

"I love you more!"

"I love you more!"

"I love you more!"

Herry made a retching noise, and ran to the kitchen sink to deposit the contents of his stomach. Fluff made him sick. Actually, fluff made everyone sick, and the others swiftly joined him. Upstairs, Theresa managed to wail and retch simultaneously. Jay and Mary-Sue were oblivious to this, and continued in their lovey-dovey exchange.

"I love you more!"

"I love you more!"

"I love you more!"

"I love you more!"

Jay's PMR beeped suddenly. Hermes' erratic voice was shrill through its speakers. He demanded that the teens return to the school, because Hera urgently needed to see them. With a sigh, Jay and Mary-Sue stopped their sickeningly sweet conversation.

The gang piled into Herry's truck. Jay and Mary-Sue held hands the whole way there, staring into their lovers' eyes romantically.

When they arrived at the school, they inconspicuously filed into the janitors closet and made their way to Hera's study. They found the goddess behind her desk, doing whatever she did when they weren't around.

"Hera!" Jay said. "What did you want to want to talk to us about?"

The goddess stared at each of them for a short time, and then explained. "We have found out something about Mary-Sue's powers. Mary-Sue can take away a god's power." Hera exclaimed very seriously. "It is part of her epic superpowers, which she will only use for good, right?" Hera stared at Mary-Sue, suddenly very afraid and completely out of character. "Right!?"

Mary-Sue laughed evilly. "No! I will take your powers now!" She touched Hera's shoulder, causing the goddess to collapse. She glowed purple, which was deeply symbolic for the transference of power from Hera to Mary-Sue.

"I now have the power of the gods!" Mary-Sue announced, somehow draining all of the gods' powers through a single touch. You really had to hand it to her.

Jay looked gob-smacked. "But… I thought you were one of us!"

"I was always with Cronus!" Mary-Sue cackled evilly, somehow making the manic laughing sound somewhat appealing and sexy. "Seriously, you guys need to stop trusting strangers. It's a bit ridiculous."

She then skipped out of Hera's office, leaving the group wondering what the hell had happened.

"Should we follow her?" Odie asked tentatively.

"We'll give her a few more minutes to get away," Jay said. "She needs to get a head start so we can charge at her dramatically!"

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**Yes it's short, but it's still awesome. If you say it's too short then you're a bad reviewer. **

**In case any of you were wondering, I don't actually care about if this gets reviewed or not. I don't care if this gets flamed. When I said "don't flame", that is me mocking all of you. I have had to explain that to too many people that have sent me messages about this story. **

**Next chapter will be the last. **


	5. How to kill a Mary-Sue

**Oh em gee final chapter. Can't believe I made it this far, couldn't have done this without my reviewers/Beta/actual writing skills. **

**Hopefully, my intentions with this have been read, understood and taken into consideration. I don't mean to insult people personally, because if you're taking personal offense to this, you're doing it wrong. This is a parody. Get with that. Now please, improve the quality of this archive. I will continue to be around, reviewing, so get used to that. **

**Warnings: character death. Be warned. Sum of dis chptr is xtremly skari. Viower excretion advizd. **

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Cronus was feeling rather odd. He felt… mortal. He couldn't explain it, because he had never been a mortal before, but for some unexplainable reason he knew that he had become a mortal. It was all a bit too convenient.

"Master Cronus!" called a sing-song voice. "I have returned!"

Mary-Sue skipped into his hidden lair, having presumably skipped there all the way from New Olympia. "Our plan went exactly according to plan!"

"I find that very hard to believe." Cronus muttered.

"Oh." Mary-Sue smiled apologetically, her smile being so powerful that it even worked on Cronus. "You're now a mortal. Sorry about that."

"That's quite alright," Cronus sighed, enthralled by Mary-Sue's perfect smile. "But where are the pesky mortals?"

On cue, the pesky mortals ran in, almost comically in formation. Jay always insisted on making an appearance like that. It made them look cool, apparently. No one had bothered to tell Jay that it only made the gang look tacky.

"We've come to stop you!" Jay shouted, ever the obvious.

Cronus laughed evilly. He did that a lot. Mary-Sue joined in, but her laugh was also sexy because everything she did was sexy.

"Kill them!" Cronus ordered, laughing evilly, because it was the only way he knew how to laugh.

Mary-Sue looked at Cronus, and then at Jay. Their eyes met lovingly. Jay seemed to be pleading with her silently. The gang nearly gagged, but avoided throwing up.

"No." Mary-Sue whispered, now bored with being evil/her love for Jay making her good again. "I will not kill my beloved!"

Cronus sighed exasperatedly. "Will you kill one of the others, then? Any one of them will do."

She shook her head sadly. "No. I am good now."

The god pinched his nose, scowling. By this point, the author was doing the same thing. Cronus gathered himself together, and ordered his giants into battle, who had somehow magically appeared. The gang and Mary-Sue fought back eagerly, in a series of poorly written sequences of fights and punching, along with a few bad war cries.

Inexplicably, Mary-Sue ended up fighting Cronus, because she was the best fighter and a few more unneeded reasons. She held her own against him, managing to inflict a few non-fatal wounds on him. Despite being an excellent fighter, she couldn't possibly beat Cronus on her own. Not unless it was a much more epic moment than this. Bored of the god, she swapped to fighting the giants. Jay then had his shot at the god.

"I will kill you!" Cronus screamed manically. Jay was somehow unable to move, and was rooted to the spot. Cronus flung his scythe at the boy, still laughing manically.

"NO! I will save you, my beloved!"

Mary-Sue jumped sexily in front of Jay. Her impossibly dark blue eyes went wide on shock. But, being as perfect as she was, she quickly regained her composure. Despite having a scythe up to its hilt in her side, and possessing magical healing powers, she continued fighting.

Since she was so amazing and such a great fighter, Mary-Sue continued fending off the giants and Cronus for quite some time. Since this was all about Mary-Sue, Cronus was a bumbling idiot with a god complex and a serious case of evil-laughing.

Mary-Sue took no notice, and continued fighting bravely. But then, she was hit by another one of Cronus' scythes! She would have healed herself, but she saw Jay approaching, and took this as an opportunity for an angst-filled death scene. Besides, she would probably just come back to life later, anyway.

"Mary-Sue," Jay cried, running over to her. "You're injured!"

"I will be fine." she managed, looking deep into his eyes.

"You are hurt, we have to get you to Chiron!" his voice was desperate now.

"Jay, I think I'm dying…" She whispered, tears falling down her cheeks from her impossibly deep blue eyes, which had become kaleidoscopes due to her tears, and were now a deep, emeraldy-forest-olive green.

By this point, Cronus was also feeling rather disgusted. He was also feeling rather light-headed because a good portion of his blood was on the ground. The giants had gotten sick of the angst and wandered off back to their hidden lair for pizzas and _Friends_ re-runs.

"Mary-Sue," Jay said, crying. "I love you, you cannot leave me! I need you, Mary-Sue!"

"This is getting ridiculous," Cronus said, using a stick to keep himself standing. The rest of the gang was standing beside him, looking on with just as much, if not even more, disgust.

"I wish I was with the giants; they doesn't have to watch this." Atlanta said. The gang nodded in agreement.

"_Mary-Sue_!" Jay shouted as her body went limp.

"Finally," Herry said. "Can we please go now?"

"Fine, but I will always remember her as my one true love, the light of my life, my soul mate, the only hope in this dark and endless world…" Jay would have gone on, had Archie not kicked him.

"Wait…" faintly came Mary-Sue's sing-song voice. "I'm not quite dead yet…"

"Yes you are," Cronus yelled. "Now shut up!"

"I'm feeling much better…"

"Shut up!" Cronus yelled again.

"It's only a flesh wound." Mary-Sue said quietly.

Cronus slowly walked over to her, red eyes narrowed. Without pausing, he decapitated Mary-Sue.

"Quit ripping off Monty Python, bitch."

And only _then_ Cronus found that he could die in peace with a clear conscience.


End file.
